I was fortunate enough to visit Puerto Rico in my late teens. My High School Spanish teacher thought it would be a good way to practice conversation in another language. What I didn’t know was that the local kids there would teach me some words, words not typically taught in High School in the late 1970s, and either they didn’t make it clear what those words meant, or I just forgot.
Long, embarrassing story made shorter, I used one of these words in my Spanish class upon returning to New York, thinking I was saying something kind. La profesora freaked out. She yelled at me, my “shame body” was triggered, and the rest of the kids repeatedly asked, “What did you say? What did you say!?!”
All I could say back was, “I don’t know. I don’t know!”
In retrospect, I think I called her a…
I was reminded of this unfortunate event—um, I mean—learning opportunity recently when working with a client on communication. No, I didn’t call my client a…
And it reminded me of what leads to quality communication. Certainly, we should know what we’re saying… in any language! But it’s also important that our message is heard in the way we want it to be. In this age of disinformation—much of it intentional—we have to be very discerning on what we’re hearing, and what we’re exposed to. Especially as an empath!
Similarly, when speaking with others, feel free to check in to make sure your message is being heard. Nothing wrong with asking, “Am I making sense?” or “What do you think of that?” or “Can you relate?” etc.
Another way to assure deeper communication is to be a better listener. By “better” I mean more attentive—not finishing the sentences of others, and also listening with more than just your ears.
Heart-based listening, AKA listening with compassion and empathy, is what sets up a safe container for your friend or client or partner to speak their truth and also feel seen and heard. A safe container means one of non-judgement. Zero. Who am I to judge anyone else, anyway? I’ve seen my shadow and it’s not pretty. I’ve hurt people as an end result of my unhealed, pained unconscious. I think we all have. Now, I prefer to listen attentively and am honored when someone begins their share with, “I’ve never told anyone this before, but…”
So many of my clients have a past filled with not feeling seen and heard, it leads to energetic blockages, potential emotional stagnation, not getting what we want, a closed heart, and sometimes even physical pain or illness—diagnosable and/or idiopathic.
So, if you can be that compassionate listener, odds are much higher that this energy will be returned. Others will listen to you better as well.
When we’re all listening to each other, we can get along better. We’ll start seeing how much we all have in common.
I believe we basically want the same things; however, we have different ideas on how to attain them. We may have different morals, values, and priorities, but ultimately, all of us at least share the desire to be seen and heard. So, start seeing and hearing others first, and that will come back to you tenfold!
Oh, and when studying a foreign language, look up the words your new “friends” teach you.
I still can’t believe I called my HS Spanish teacher a…
In other news... a major announcement!
I'm so excited by this!!
I’m sharing the bill with Anita Moorjani, Judith Orloff, MD, and many others in the Shift Network's F.R.E.E upcoming on-line Evolved Empath Summit.
If you are an empathic person, very sensitive to — or even profoundly affected by — the people, energy, and circumstances around you...
If you tend to feel the emotions of others as if they were your own… and often experience overwhelm at the weight of it all...
Maybe you constantly cater to others’ needs because you think it’s selfish to put yourself first… so you feel depleted — without the space to show yourself the same care you offer your family, friends, and community.
If any of this resonates with you, you’re likely an empath.
Many empaths isolate themselves because they’ve been criticized so often for being too sensitive…
… or they retreat and contract inward just to avoid absorbing the unrelenting input of the “noise” outside themselves…
Well, it’s time to embrace your empathic nature as one of your greatest strengths and a truly powerful gift — rather than a burden — a brilliant light within yourself whose time has come to shine!
That’s why I’m thrilled to invite you to the Evolved Empath Summit from March 9-13 — an inspiring gathering of leading empathy experts, authors, and teachers who’ll guide you to discover the brilliance and purpose within your empathic gifts, so you can begin to share them with the world and become a beacon…
… a powerful force paving the way to peace, equality, and more effective and loving ways to navigate our world.
They do track who referred who, so please use the link in that forthcoming email to join to better assure their continued sharing of this deeply transformational work!
RSVP here for the Evolved Empath Summit — at no charge using my personal link: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/ees20a19495/a19495