Traditional meditation asks for mono-focus. Tune into your breath. Watch the flickering candle. Listen to this soundtrack. But some people aren’t wired that way.
What I’ve learned is that the more feminine your energy (notice I didn’t say “female” – we’re talking about essence, not gender or sexuality*), the more likely you are to vary in emotions and focus, making the more traditional methods of meditation extra difficult. And those energetic fluctuations are a beautiful thing despite what Western culture tells you.
Western patriarchal culture likes to box you in. Don’t get too sad. Don’t express your anger. And God forbid you express too much joy. The unawakened masculine had to squash you to understand you. Sadly, typically those who identify their essence as masculine want to understand the feminine first. For the unawakened masculine, loving the feminine is easier when we understand you. Fortunately, more of the masculine are waking up and recognizing that true love means unconditional acceptance, irrelevant to mental constructs.
Masculine energy is better at mono-focus. When the masculine is in mission mode, nothing can stop it. Whether it’s running a marathon or canvassing the wild for food, the masculine doesn’t stop until it gets the job done.
The feminine, however, is more like the ocean. One moment it’s calm and the next a tsunami. And despite what the masculine likes to think, we love it more than it drives us crazy. Yes, it can drive us crazy, but in a good way if we let it!
So, who wrote all of the old texts that teach methods of meditation? Who writes them still? The masculine, of course. But meditation for the masculine is different than it is for the feminine.
The masculine often recommends sitting, legs crossed, mono-focused, and trying to tame the mind. The feminine, however, is at its best when in the flow of life. For the feminine, letting intuition guide the way is often the most natural and expansive way of living and loving. If it’s not in your nature to sit, legs in lotus for hours, then get up and get lost in something you love. One of my most profound meditative experiences was on the dance floor. For a little while, I completely let go. I wasn’t dancing; I was being danced. Being in this feminine, receptive place was blissful (and yes, a bit confusing!). I felt aligned with all of creation and the physical, mental, and emotional after effects were the same as what's seen with more traditional meditation.
So question the necessity of physical stillness or staring at your navel, or any single best way to meditate. Dance. Run. Sing. Paint. Draw. Create! Let Spirit create through you! But do so from an open place with self-compassion. Perfectionism—trying to get it right—is an invitation to disappointment.
Align yourself with higher vibration, more expressive thoughts, words and actions. Physically or metaphorically, rewrite the old books and embrace your Divine feminine nature! Jump up and down for a minute and then listen to the moment; what is it telling you?
*If the terms feminine or masculine awaken resistance, irritation, or a need for clarification, try thinking in terms of yin and yang – sets of general characteristics rather than specific gender or sexuality. Any person can experience any or all of each. Neither is better or worse, but they are quite different, and that’s part of the beauty of life!